The Middle East: Bush's First Real Test - Ever.
"We demand a clear statement from Israel that they are beginning to withdraw from the West Bank, and are doing so now."
Colin Powell 4/8/02
"Can't talk - busy now."
Sharon Administration
"I meant what I said to the prime minister of Israel. I expect there to be withdrawal without delay."
George W. Bush 4/9/02
"Get bent."
Sharon Administration
"Who do you think you're dealin' with, Ariel? I'm the most powerfulest fella on Earth!"
Dubya 4/10/02
"I'm sorry. Did you say something?"
Sharon Administration
Ladies and gentlemen: Meet the real George W. Bush. You may have heard rumors about Bush's utter lack of intelligence and leadership before. You may have heard that Bush has coasted through life on his dad's shoulders. Any time in life that Dubya didn't measure up, the elder Bush made a phone call and suddenly the bar was lowered. Prep school, Yale, Harvard, the Texas Air National Guard, all of Bush's oil companies, the Texas Rangers, the Texas governor's seat, and the presidency -- in short, George W. Bush's entire resume was purchased by the money, power, and connections of Bush Senior. Kids, if you want to see what George W. Bush at work without Daddy around to clean up the mess, simply cast your eyes toward the Middle East.
The Israel/Palestine issue was easy enough when Bush began his hostile takeover of the presidency. Palestinians wear them funny hats and don't shave much. Israelis, on the other hand, mostly look like Americans (except for the cereal bowls that the men wear in church), and they have a lot of political muscle in Washington. No point in making those guys mad. Hell, why was Clinton struggling to stay neutral all them years ? Just side with Israel and get back to watchin' "Green Acres" on Nick at Nite. Besides, Ari Fleischer makes good money. Make him come up with some piece of rhetorical crap to cover your ass during the skirmishes, like "There can be no peace in the Middle East until both sides are ready." Problem solved. Now, pass the pretzels.
Then, in the wake of September 11, along came the Bush Doctrine. This brilliant concept works like this: If you can't get your hands on the kid who sucker-punched you at recess because he's faster than you, then burn his dad's house down instead. After all, he lives there with his parents' consent, right? Never mind that the kid wasn't home when the house went up and now his whole family is mad at you. It must still be the right thing to do. It's a doctrine.
Israeli Prime Minister and fellow war-monger Ariel Sharon received the Bush Doctrine like a gift from God. Armed with the Bush Doctrine and seemingly unconditional support from a dull American president, Sharon was free to do as he wished with the Palestinians. Now, after seven more months of ever-increasing violence, Sharon has tanks and helicopter gunships all over the West Bank. The Bush Administration, unable to intelligently explain why the Bush Doctrine doesn't apply to non-Bush administrations, is powerless to stop him.
So, perhaps for the first time ever, America is seeing the real George W. Bush. Sharon and Arafat don't care who Bush's dad is or how much money the Republican Party has. Bush can't buy 'em or bomb 'em. This problem will only be solved (or not) by the Bush Administration's diplomatic skill. Judging by the pathetic diplomatic effort currently under way, which rolls into the Middle East a year late and blames the Palestinians before talks begin, the situation will not be getting better any time soon. Let's see Ari Fleischer spin this abysmal failure into something positive.
If only there were some way to link peace in the Middle East to a capital gains tax cut . . .
4/14/02
